Babe or maid?

While I patiently waited for the closing time in the school I teach, I got into a conversation with my female colleague mainly to while away time. We were discussing relationships (yes! Girls like to talk about it a lot). I was telling her a story about a girl I know. This girl went to visit her boyfriend and caught him red handed in the act of cheating. Funny thing is that till today that I write, the guy hasn’t called the girl to apologise or mention anything about it plus he sees her regularly because they live close by and this happened about 4 months ago. I’m serious. While they were supposedly dating because I am really sure the guy didn’t value her from day one; she kept bugging me about how she needs to go cook for him and do all the wifey things. My colleague also knew someone who had similar experience. We both concluded that doing all the washing, cooking, etc before marriage was a no-no. While we were still talking, another of my male colleague who could hear our conversation just sprang up and looked at me and shouted:

“Debby if you like the guy, you go do am”.

 

See me see quanta o.

He said it with such conviction like he knew me so well in a former world. Somehow we got into an argument. I told him I cannot wash or pound yam for any guy until we get married o. He went on to ask me what else the girl had to offer if she couldn’t wash, clean and cook for him. Please don’t tell me you think that way too. It’s sad to know that some guys think the only thing a woman can offer is just household tasks. I mean if she does all these things for you and you give her money (which most guys think is their major responsibility in the relationship) then you are just paying for her services right?

In a way, I don’t blame him or any other guy who has such mindset because it’s the girls that offer to do these things in the first place all in the name of winning a man’s heart. Sisters, don’t reduce your self-worth because you think men are scarce. If he is so hungry, prepare the meal in your house and invite him to eat it there. If he cannot wash his clothes then he should pay someone to do so. You are not his maid. No matter how you want to see it, these things devalue you. There are certain things reserved for marriage alone. I mean you have your life time together to do his laundry, have sex and cook so why start now when your bride price hasn’t been paid yet. The truth is that you are not his property.

My colleague promised to change my mind set before I leave the school. Well, I intend to change his and as many others that think like him.

This is tough love but someone (me) has to let you know these things. Just thank me later.

Kisses!

Calabar love...

 

It’s just a few days to valentine. The truth is that even though a lot of us don’t know the history of valentine (err who really cares?), we like to celebrate it. In Nigeria valentine is mainly about spending time and exchanging gifts with people you love or sometimes people you pretend to love just for the gifts. Hehehe. I mean who doesn’t like receiving gifts? (That’s NOT an excuse to pretend to love somebody though) Even those who say they don’t care about valentine wouldn’t mind spending time and receiving a gift from someone special. I’m not so into valentine but I seriously wouldn’t mind at all if I got a gift from a special somborri which could be you so for this singular reason…

 

 *winks* *joking*

In calabar where I am; there’s a lot of buzz going on about valentine. In the place I work, we talk about it every day now. The guys are looking for cheap places to take their babes to. Some are thinking about what to tell their babe(s) on that day. In fact one has organised a job interview for himself in Enugu so he will tell his girlfriend he has an interview to attend and then dodge. But there’s this peculiar case I would like us to talk about. This guy has two girlfriends. I asked him who he will be taking out among them and what excuse he will give the other and then he said it’s not a problem at all as the girls involved know he has two of them. And am like “what???” Then he tried justifying himself by saying that he was better than guys who had ten girls and pretended to each girl she was the only one. He said something that fascinated me. He said he started dating the second girl because his original babe was misbehaving so he wanted her to sit up. Funny thing is after 8 months she still hasn’t sat up to his expectations so the three of them are doing their thing.

 After I heard this, I felt holy anger. I couldn’t help but wonder how cheating on his girlfriend can actually make her sit up and how the substitute babe feels knowing she is being used. Then I asked myself what three of them where doing in that relationship. I guess they all have substitutes. But please respond to this: guys, will you date another girl because your babe is misbehaving? This is a weird question but ladies can you be a substitute babe? Finally, will you still continue in a relationship knowing your girlfriend/boyfriend is cheating because they say they want you to sit up?

Don’t get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing. This is coming from someone experienced.lol.

 

Note: I captioned this “calabar love” because it sounded good to me not because my dear calabar folks all behave like this. Peace!

www.chillandbeam.blogspot.com....

Happy New Year guys! Yes o na now my day break. First let me sweep, dust and clean my blog.

 

It’s been ages and I’m finally glad to be back!

So it’s been like a year I was here last. I know some of you missed me; because peeps kept asking me when I’d be back and all that. Thank you all very much for your concern and encouragements.

 A lot of things have happened to me. I am currently on my National youth service in Calabar, Cross River state.

 It has been good and I’m grateful. The town try make sense. No traffic or noise compared to where I’m coming from but I’ve learnt it’s not really about the location but the people. It’s the people that make it “home”.  I’ve met quite a number of people, nice, fun and some dramatic. I guess that’s what adds spice to the whole thing. I’m counting my days here already jare.

About chill and beam; I’m sure you guys know this blog is going places. Oh you didn’t know? Ok now you do.  We intend being in the lips of a lot of people by the end of the year.

Talking about this year; I’d like to hear your plans. For me, I’m moving forward o. I already know specific detailed areas of my life I want to move forward. As in testimonies go so shele for me eh.

I have some goals in mind I want to achieve which are personal but this is a personal blog right? Don’t worry as I achieve them, you will get to know. So that means you need to follow this blog. *shines teeth* Well, some of my OTHER goals include growing my hair at least 6 inches longer.

 

 

Stop looking at me like “what kind of goal is that”. You heard me right. I’m on a hair journey and I’ll share pictures, no shaking! Even my hair will move forward.lol. I also want to learn how to swim. I went to Tinapa recently and it was really shameful that I could barely move in the pool while a small child was swimming like a fish. This is my year o. you care to join?

Anyways, enough said for now! Make sure you watch out for this space.

I’d love to hear something from you. Send me a mail: nonyeu12@gmail.com

Take care sweets.