Babe or maid?

While I patiently waited for the closing time in the school I teach, I got into a conversation with my female colleague mainly to while away time. We were discussing relationships (yes! Girls like to talk about it a lot). I was telling her a story about a girl I know. This girl went to visit her boyfriend and caught him red handed in the act of cheating. Funny thing is that till today that I write, the guy hasn’t called the girl to apologise or mention anything about it plus he sees her regularly because they live close by and this happened about 4 months ago. I’m serious. While they were supposedly dating because I am really sure the guy didn’t value her from day one; she kept bugging me about how she needs to go cook for him and do all the wifey things. My colleague also knew someone who had similar experience. We both concluded that doing all the washing, cooking, etc before marriage was a no-no. While we were still talking, another of my male colleague who could hear our conversation just sprang up and looked at me and shouted:

“Debby if you like the guy, you go do am”.

 

See me see quanta o.

He said it with such conviction like he knew me so well in a former world. Somehow we got into an argument. I told him I cannot wash or pound yam for any guy until we get married o. He went on to ask me what else the girl had to offer if she couldn’t wash, clean and cook for him. Please don’t tell me you think that way too. It’s sad to know that some guys think the only thing a woman can offer is just household tasks. I mean if she does all these things for you and you give her money (which most guys think is their major responsibility in the relationship) then you are just paying for her services right?

In a way, I don’t blame him or any other guy who has such mindset because it’s the girls that offer to do these things in the first place all in the name of winning a man’s heart. Sisters, don’t reduce your self-worth because you think men are scarce. If he is so hungry, prepare the meal in your house and invite him to eat it there. If he cannot wash his clothes then he should pay someone to do so. You are not his maid. No matter how you want to see it, these things devalue you. There are certain things reserved for marriage alone. I mean you have your life time together to do his laundry, have sex and cook so why start now when your bride price hasn’t been paid yet. The truth is that you are not his property.

My colleague promised to change my mind set before I leave the school. Well, I intend to change his and as many others that think like him.

This is tough love but someone (me) has to let you know these things. Just thank me later.

Kisses!